


Humanity

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blackmail, Kenny blackmails Erwin, Rape Aftermath, Trans Armin Arlert, Uncle/Nephew Incest, Underage Rape/Non-con, this is very disturbing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 17:42:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15491211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Erwin wakes up in a motel room, where Kenny blackmails him with the threat of a bomb that will kill innocent people. He warns he will kill his nephew, who has also been taken hostage, if he doesn't obey. Nothing could have prepared Erwin for what he agrees to do in order to save their lives.





	Humanity

**Author's Note:**

> This is an incredibly disturbing fic. It features pretty graphic descriptions of rape, don't read this if you think that will trigger you in any way. This is a serious fic, about a serious topic.

**"To surpass monsters, you must be willing to abandon your humanity."**

When Erwin wakes up with a sharp pain in his head, the first thing he does is assess the situation. He's good at staying calm in stressful circumstances, calm enough not to freak out like most people would. As he comes to his senses, he looks around the room, and takes in what he sees. First of all, he's on the floor. This means it definitely isn't the type of situation where he's had an accident and been taken to the hospital. After seeing the neatly made-up double bed and the black suitcase on the floor beside him Erwin decides he must be in a hotel room. He considers the options. Maybe this is some sex thing instigated by his boyfriend, but Erwin is most definitely the dominant one, and he doesn't think Levi is the type to bash him over the head and drag him to a hotel. He realizes now as he touches his forehead that his face is bleeding, and rules out the idea that Levi has anything to do with this.

Erwin is a vaguely rich, vaguely powerful man. Not enough to attract much attention from the public, but enough to have some enemies. He's done some ruthless things in his time. Things people might want him dead for. Technically not illegal – he's a lawyer, after all – but they blur the line of morality. To Erwin, his duty to find out the objective truth and punish those responsible has always come first, at the cost to personal freedom. He's never felt remorse when the jury declares their verdict guilty and the offender shouts that they're innocent, he's never felt guilt when families of offenders would scream at him for putting their sons and daughters in jail. Truth comes first. In the cruel world of criminal justice, feelings do not matter to Erwin.

He supposes now, as he lays on the hard floor with blood trickling down his face, that philosophy might be his undoing. Levi has always expressed his doubts, arguing with Erwin over his cold, calculating methods to get a guilty verdict. Levi doesn't believe in the concept of illegality. He doesn't bat an eyelid when it comes to things like theft, or even killing someone out of revenge. _An eye for an eye_ he had nonchalantly said to Erwin during one case of a rape victim turning on their attacker. To Levi, the law doesn't necessarily make something wrong, just means you'll get punished for it. Erwin doesn't quite agree with him, insisting laws are there for a reason, and shouldn't be broken.

There are a lot of people who might be responsible for this. Erwin mulls them over in his mind, finding himself unable to get up. Perhaps the family of one of the many men and women he has put behind bars for life. Or something more recent, like the eighteen-year-old he got sentenced for manslaughter, or the woman he sent down for soliciting and selling class A drugs. There are a _lot_ , Erwin realizes now, a lot of people he's sent to jail who might hold a grudge against him for it.

An eye for an eye. But Erwin was just doing his job.

He hears footsteps, and a moment later sees a tall figure walk into the room. He knows then that his intuition was wrong. This is not a justice thing. This is far worse.

“Looks like you're awake, Erwin,” Kenny says, looking down at him with a smug grin.

Erwin has enemies, yes. Kenny is another breed entirely. The man who somehow always knows exactly how to evade the police, who always covers his tracks perfectly, who happens to be related to Levi. Erwin's heard stories. Levi, though reluctant to talk about Kenny, has told him exactly what kind of person the man is. And to be honest, even with his own track record of dubiously moral practices, he doesn't think Kenny deserves to be called human. The word monster is more fitting for someone of his nature.

This is personal, then. This is between him and Kenny, probably something to do with Kenny's possessiveness and obsession with Levi.

“Kenneth Ackerman,” Erwin has to force himself to remain stoic, showing no hint of emotion, “What a surprise to see you here.”

“What a surprise indeed,” Kenny echoes. He takes a cigarette from his pocket and lights it, drawing from it slowly then blowing the smoke in Erwin's direction. Since Erwin is on the floor, it thankfully doesn't reach him.

“Won't that set off the fire alarm?” he asks. He spends too much time with Levi, in all honesty.

“Fire alarm?” Kenny says nonchalantly, with a raised eyebrow, “Doubt this place has one.”

On second glance, this does look like a rather rundown motel room.

“What do you want?” Erwin questions. He wants to get straight to the truth, like he's trained to do. Nothing else matters but knowing why he's here.

“Sorry, I only talk business at eye level,” Kenny tells him, then with a swift movement he bends down and grabs Erwin by the arm, pulling him up. Erwin realizes now there's a sharp pain in his shoulder blade. He groans, as Kenny forces him down into an uncomfortable wooden chair.

Kenny takes a seat opposite him, perching on the end of the bed.

“I have a surprise for you,” he says. The smirk on his face gives Erwin an inkling that his intentions aren't good, but that's nothing he didn't know already.

“Oh, really?” Erwin feigns interest, “Tell me about it.”

He's remarkably good at staying cool under pressure. Even now, he doesn't feel scared. If Kenny attacks him he's strong enough to put up a fight. He mentally prepares himself for anything else Kenny could pull, what he might have up his sleeve.

“Hm, I don't know,” Kenny says, glancing over to what appears to be the bathroom, “Should I bring him out yet, I wonder?”

_Him_. That's worse than _it_. That means someone else is involved. Erwin silently hopes it's not Levi.

“There's someone in the bathroom?” he asks. The answer seems obvious, especially when Kenny turns back and looks at him with a dark expression.

“Yes,” his captor replies, smiling. The sort of cold, villainous type of smile you see in movies all the time, but you don't realize how chilling it is until you see it in person. “I'll fetch him in a sec. But first.”

Kenny reaches down and picks up the suitcase from beside Erwin, placing it on the bed. He opens it slowly. Then he pulls out something that resembles a remote control.

“What's that?” Erwin asks.

“I'm normally a slitting throats kind of guy,” Kenny muses, staring at the object in his hand, “Or a blow their brains out kind of guy. But I thought I'd do something a little more extravagant for you.”

He shoots a toothy grin at Erwin, who frowns.

“What is that?” he asks again, though he fears he knows the answer already.

“Don't worry, I don't actually intend on blowing anyone up,” says Kenny, confirming Erwin's suspicion, “That all depends on you doing as I say.”

Blackmail, of the worst kind. Kenny is putting human lives in his hands. It's not like Erwin hasn't made difficult decisions before, but nobody's life has ever been in danger.

“How do I know it's a real bomb?” Erwin dares to interrogate him.

Kenny laughs, thumb hovering over one of the buttons. “You wanna chance it?”

Erwin stays quiet after that. He tells himself he'll do whatever Kenny wants, if it's to save what he presumes is a lot of people. Kenny is merciless enough that Erwin wouldn't put it past him to have really planted a bomb for the sake of toying with his mind.

“I'll go get your little present,” Kenny says, “Don't move.”

Kenny drops the cigarette and crushes it under his heel, then makes his way to the bathroom, detonator in his overcoat pocket.

When he opens the bathroom door, there's a scream. Erwin pales. He recognizes that scream. Even though he can't figure out exactly who it belongs to, he recognizes the fear in it, the shrillness of it. No adult screams like that. It sends a shudder down him. Kenny is bringing a child into this, bringing a fucking child into this mess that has nothing to do with them.

“You ready, Erwin?” Kenny calls out, casually, like this is routine for him.

Erwin purses his lips. The silence seems to be answer enough, as Kenny reemerges from the bathroom, dragging someone out with him by their sleeve. And Erwin's heart sinks, when he sees the familiar soft blond hair, the small frame of the boy's body.

Armin Arlert. His nephew. The boy he often takes to museums around the city, the boy whose eyes fill with childish wonder every time he sees the exhibits there. The boy who is the closest thing Erwin will ever have to his own child.

“No,” is all he can manage, through gritted teeth, “ _No_.”

The shit eating grin Kenny flashes at him makes him feel anger like he hasn't before.

Erwin stands up, tries to rush over and intervene. It's then that Kenny pulls out a knife, placing it against the child's throat. Armin is crying, tears streaming down his cheeks, and he makes terrified noises as the knife is held close to his skin. Erwin doesn't take any chances, taking a few steps back with his hands in the air as a sign of surrender.

“Alright,” he says, calmly, “I won't try anything. Put the knife down, Kenny.”

Kenny merely lowers the knife a little. Erwin observes now his other arm is wrapped around Armin's waist, and he decides he's going to kill that man one day.

“Kenny, please don't bring him into this,” he tries to reason, “He's just a kid.”

“How old is he exactly?” Kenny asks, looking down to inspect the boy. He looks at him in a way that is too predatory, and Armin seems to notice, squirming against him. He looks over at Erwin with a desperate, terrified expression.

Erwin, he realizes, is the only comfort Armin has right now. The only familiar face.

“He looks pretty young, huh?”

Erwin fights the urge to get up and beat the shit out of Kenny. “He's too young for you to be doing this, that's for sure.”

“And what is it exactly I'm doing?” Kenny questions him. He looks down at Armin again, then back to Erwin. “Have you figured it out yet? Why you're both here?”

“Let him go,” Erwin says. He's struggling to keep up his calm persona, his voice filled with panic at the thought of Armin being hurt. “Please. He's a kid.”

Kenny pretends to think about his request, releasing his grip from Armin and instead stroking his chin thoughtfully. Erwin considers crying out, telling the boy to run and not look back, but it's futile. Kenny still has a knife to his throat. Even if he didn't, it would be too much of a risk.

“Well, I could let him go,” says Kenny, and Erwin feels so guilty at the look of hope that flashes across Armin's eyes then, “But then all those poor people would have to die instead.”

He hears Armin take a sharp intake of breath, watches his expression turn back to one of fear and confusion. The child has his eyes fixed on Kenny, like he's scared if he looks away the man will do hurt him. Erwin takes the chance to comfort him, since that's all he can do right now.

“Hey, Armin,” he says gently, and the boy's head snaps to look at him. His eyes are wide in terror and brimming with tears. Erwin wants nothing more than to hold him in his arms, tell him it's over and he's safe. “It's alright. You just have to do as this man says and neither of us will get hurt.”

The dread Erwin feels when Kenny lets out a booming laugh is a type of dread he's never felt before.

“What do you want?” he asks Kenny for the second time. He can't hide the crack in his voice, making him sound more vulnerable than he intended.

Kenny grins. He walks back over to the suitcase and Erwin hears the way Armin exhales, a breath he's been holding in for a long time. He feels helpless. He could try to run, grab Armin on the way out, but it's far too risky. And Kenny still has the detonator. He could blow up who knows how many people, destroy countless lives in an instant, and the blood would be on Erwin's hands. Legally it would be Kenny's responsibility, but it would have been Erwin who drove him to do it, and he doesn't know if he can live with that.

Kenny shuts the suitcase, placing it back onto the floor, and Erwin sees the camera in his hand.

“What's that for?” he can't help asking. He needs to know, he always has to know what's going on. He hates being uncertain of things.

Kenny takes an experimental photo of Armin, the flash startling the boy.

“Ah, it works. Perfect,” he turns back to Erwin, smiling menacingly, “This is how I'm going to turn Levi against you, and ruin your career. And probably your life.”

He walks over to Erwin, standing close enough that he can feel Kenny's hot breath against his skin. Erwin's a tall man but he feels dwarfed by Kenny, despite him only being a few inches taller. He grinds his teeth, and clenches his hands into fists.

“I'm going to take pictures,” Kenny whispers in his ear, “As you fuck that boy.”

Erwin can't help himself then, can't help how he grabs Kenny by the shirt and tries to push him against a wall. He gets thrown back to the ground instead and looks up with an expression of seething rage, an emotion he rarely experiences. Erwin is not an angry person. He's stern, but that's different. Sternness isn't an emotional response. Right now though he feels his blood boiling, he's filled with anger like he's never felt before, but then he looks up at Armin's frightened face and realizes he has to stay calm. He refuses to make Armin anymore scared than he already is.

“It's him, or all those people,” Kenny reminds him, “The bomb is in a shopping center. It's a busy time of day. There will be children there, on summer break. I've been orchestrating this for _months_ , Erwin.”

“Why are you doing this?” asks Erwin, almost pleading, as he sits himself upright, “What kick do you get out of this?”

Kenny merely shrugs. “It's payback for taking away something that belongs to me. And the fun of getting to watch is pretty good too.”

“You're sick,” Erwin snarls.

“Maybe. But you're the one who's going to do it, and if you refuse I'll kill all those people.”

Erwin considers it for a moment. He looks up at Armin, who obviously has no idea what's going on. He's terrified but not because he knows Kenny's intentions, he's just scared of the unknown. That makes it worse. He can't do it, he can't do something like that to anyone, let alone his nephew. There are lots of reasons. The most obvious one being Armin is only sixteen, but there's also the betrayal Erwin would feel to Levi, and the fact Armin will probably never want anything to do with him again.

“And what's to say,” Kenny continues, “I won't kill him as well.”

That does it. Erwin does not, in any capacity whatsoever, want to hurt Armin. But he cannot allow the boy to be killed, so he stands up and looks at Kenny with the coldest, most hateful expression he can manage.

“How do I know you'll keep your word, and not kill everyone anyway?” he interrogates.

“I might have done some questionable things, but I'm a man of my word.”

Questionable. This situation is more than questionable. It's sick, it's monstrous, it's vile. In his twelve years as a lawyer Erwin has never met anyone so evil and fucked up in the head as Kenny Ackerman.

“You're making me do this,” he says, as if there's a chance Kenny will change his mind.

“I am. And you better get a move on before I start getting impatient.”

Erwin sighs. He stands up and makes his way over to Armin, not failing to notice how Kenny is pointing the camera at them. It's not too late to run, but... He can't risk Armin being killed. He won't let that happen, so as much as he absolutely hates himself for it he'll do what Kenny asks, and he can deal with the consequences afterwards.

He reaches down to stroke Armin's cheek, providing him with as much comfort as he can. He seems to be a little reassured by the touch, which breaks Erwin's heart, considering what he's about to do.

“Listen to me closely, Armin,” he says, in a tone that's unusually soft for him, “There are people's lives at stake here. We have to do what this man says, or they'll get killed.”

Armin lets out a cry. “Erwin, I'm scared.”

He hates the innocence in that, hates the childishness of it. If this was another adult who could understand the situation, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. They'd just get on with it. But Kenny has done this deliberately, he's messing with Erwin's head by forcing him to take control and do things that make him sick to his stomach.

Erwin takes the boy in his arms, holds him tight and presses a kiss to his forehead. He hears the camera click behind him, then comes the flash. Erwin refuses to turn around. He doesn't want to see the look on Kenny's face, expecting him to be enjoying what he sees. Kenny's the sort of twisted, sick person who gets off on hurting others and having complete power over them.

But despite the threats Kenny has made, Erwin is not being held at gunpoint. He could easily say no, refuse what has been asked of him. There is nobody physically forcing him to do this. It's Erwin, not Kenny, who's the one making the decisions over who gets hurt. He is doing it willingly. That makes it so much worse.

He almost wishes Kenny was pointing a gun at them.

Erwin picks Armin up easily, the same way he used to carry him to bed when he was younger. He's light, and it bothers Erwin greatly, another reminder of his age and how fragile he is. When he gently places Armin down onto the bed, the boy clings onto him, and Erwin feels him shaking.

“Don't let go,” he begs, “Please.”

Once again, he considers backing out. Actually he wants nothing more than that. Maybe it would be easier for them both if he let Kenny kill them. But that's such a waste of life, a waste of the potential Armin has. He's a very smart kid. More importantly he's kind, he's compassionate. He always puts others above himself. Anyone would be lucky to have him as a son.

Erwin thinks his sister and brother-in-law, remembering the car accident they both died in. Armin had only been tiny then, probably doesn't even remember it. He thinks of Armin's grandfather, that carefree old man with his bright eyes and a bushy mustache. He thinks of Armin's two best friends, the friends he's known for years and is inseparable from. Erwin feels like he's betraying them all. But it would be worse, so much worse, if he let Armin die. He would do anything to stop that.

So he takes a deep breath, and prepares himself for what's to come.

“C'mon, get a move on,” Kenny orders him, “We don't have all day.”

Erwin presses a kiss to Armin's forehead, one he hopes conveys how sorry he is and how much he loves him. Then he carefully starts to unbutton Armin's shirt, as the boy stares at him with teary, frightened eyes.

He can't see Kenny, but he can feel his gaze on them. Somehow Erwin knows Kenny is smiling. His stomach turns.

By the time he undoes the last button, Armin is sobbing. Erwin feels sick as he takes off the shirt but it's the least he can do to fold it neatly, place it down on the bed. He avoids looking at Armin too much. He does, however, catch a glimpse of Armin's chest and realizes how wrong this is, how much he looks like a child.

Puberty blockers, of course. He remembers now that Armin is waiting to start HRT as soon as the doctors say he's old enough, as soon as they're sure Armin's mature enough to make the decision. The whole thing is paid for out of his mother's inheritance, and bits and pieces scraped together by his grandpa.

This would be messed up no matter what Armin looked like, but Erwin wishes he at least passed for an adult, instead of barely passing for his own age.

“Please,” Armin begs him, and Erwin can't help closing his eyes, hating how invasive and wrong this must feel, “Don't.”

There's a click. A flash.

Erwin looks up this time, and Kenny has moved so he's stood behind them, a clear view of Armin crying as Erwin kneels in front of him. From that angle, Erwin realizes, the whole thing will look so incredibly fucked up. If those images were leaked, he wouldn't be able to explain them, he'd just be sent to jail for child pornography and exploitation.

It dawns on him then, exactly what it is he's doing.

“I can't,” he tells Kenny, who is grinning at him.

“You seemed alright with it until now.”

Erwin glares at him, because that's far from the truth. He's been experiencing an inner turmoil this whole time, detesting himself. He can't imagine what Armin is feeling.

He turns back to his nephew, cups his face in his hands and feels how he's trembling. Erwin's never seen him cry like this before. Armin cries frequently, over small things. But he's never seen him sob like this. There's a desperate look in his eye, like he's begging Erwin to stop, begging him to make all this go away. Erwin wishes more than anything he could do that.

“Hey,” he says, trying to provide some consolation. He's crying too now. “It's okay, Armin. I promise it will all be okay.”

Kenny scoffs behind them.

Erwin begins to unbutton his own shirt, thinking maybe it will help Armin if they're on common ground. But there can be no common ground when Erwin's a grown man and Armin is still a child.

Another click. Another flash.

Erwin notices the way Armin is staring up at Kenny, eyes wide and panicked. His cheeks are wet from all the crying he's been doing so Erwin wipes them with the back of his hand, feeling guilty when Armin flinches.

“You couldn't have left the room?” he asks Kenny. The hate he feels for that man right now is consuming him. 

“Why? Want him all to yourself?” Kenny questions smugly, and Erwin shuts his eyes tight and grits his teeth, just ignores the comment.

“Erwin,” Kenny's voice is stern now, “Get the fuck on with it.”

He isn't sure where to start. Would it be more comfortable for Armin if Erwin strips off first, or will that make things worse? Hesitantly, Erwin begins to fiddle with the zipper of Armin's jeans, knowing either way the boy is going to be scared out of his mind.

Erwin wishes he'd fight back, wishes he'd hit him and tell him to stop. But he doesn't. He just sits there, frozen. After Erwin gently pulls down Armin's jeans, he takes off his own. Armin is hyperventilating now, so Erwin strokes his hair and hushes him softly.

Erwin thinks about stopping it all. He thinks about all those people in the shopping center, thinks about Armin and his family, thinks about Levi. It's not too late. If he goes any further, he knows there's no going back.

He sighs, and reluctantly pulls down his boxer shorts, trying to cover himself as much as possible. That's when Armin cries out for the first time, and despite the pangs of guilt Erwin feels he quickly places a hand over the boy's mouth.

Armin murmurs something against his hand, and Kenny tuts in disapproval.

“Tell him to shut up,” he says, and when Erwin remains silent he continues, “Hey, kid. Shut the fuck up unless you want me to slit your throat.”

Armin quietens. Erwin removes the hand from his mouth.

“You're so brave, Armin,” he tells him, meaning it. He tries to smile, but it's full of pain and guilt. “Keep being brave for me, okay?”

Armin nods quickly. Erwin hopes his words are having some sort of effect, even though he's stood naked in front of Armin who he's sure feels terrified of him right now.

“I'm so sorry I have to do this,” he apologizes, trying to reassure Armin he doesn't want this.

The camera goes off again. Kenny makes an impatient noise.

“The only shots I've got so far are of you stood there doing nothing,” he says, “Are you gonna do something or do I have to come over and help?”

Erwin takes a deep breath. “Fine.”

He gets up onto the bed, helps Armin to lay down. The boy breathes shakily and stares up at him, eyes watching Erwin's every movement.

Erwin fears he won't be able to get hard. How could he, in these circumstances? But if he's going to meet Kenny's request, he'll have to make himself hard. He starts stroking his limp cock, trying to think of Levi or _anything_ else. He can hear the scared little noises Armin is making and knows the boy will never trust him again.

It takes a while, but thankfully he manages to get himself at least somewhat hard. Kenny takes another photo.

Erwin hates himself as he leans over Armin, seeing him in a position no child should ever be in. He hates himself as he gently pulls down Armin's underwear and the boy starts crying even louder.

Another photo.

He's this far into it now that there's no going back, so he tries not to focus on the guilt that consumes him, instead trying to think rationally. If this is going to happen, and it seems like it has to now, it needs to be safe and as painless as possible.

“Do you have condoms?” he looks at Kenny for an answer, “Lube?”

Kenny smirks. “No. You're going to take him raw.”

Erwin can't help grimacing. “I'm not going to hurt him.”

“I think it's too late for that.”

He's right. When Erwin looks down at Armin's face, he knows Kenny is right. He's about to apologize but then Armin does something unexpected. He reaches up and touches Erwin's cheek, just for a moment, then takes a shaky breath.

“I know it's not your fault,” he whispers, his voice quiet and hoarse from crying, “We have to do... this... to save those people, right?”

Erwin smiles at him, a tear falling down his cheek. “Yes, Armin.”

“Aw, how sweet,” Kenny interrupts them, mockingly, “But get on with it.”

Erwin feels worse somehow, knowing Armin doesn't blame him for this. He should. He's the one doing this, not Kenny, even if Kenny's the one pulling the strings. He'll probably go to prison, if anyone finds out. If they don't find out he has a half mind to walk into the police station and confess everything. He feels like he deserves it at this point.

He thinks he's deserved it ever since he agreed to this.

He really does not want to hurt Armin. He is, undoubtedly, a virgin. Teenagers have sex but Armin is one of the shy, awkward ones who gets flustered if someone so much as compliments how he looks. Erwin's sure nobody has ever touched him intimately before. He reckons Armin hasn't even had his first kiss, and it breaks him that he has to do this, has to ruin the experience of sex for him before he gets a chance to explore it for himself.

Erwin begins with gentle touches, stroking Armin's thighs. It's clear he isn't enjoying it, but Erwin thinks soothing him into it is the best approach. From the sounds of it, Armin is trying his hardest to take deep breaths. Erwin looks at his face and his eyes are closed, he's biting his lip hard.

He looks at Kenny. Out of spite, the man takes another photo, and grins.

“Armin, this is going to hurt a bit,” Erwin informs his nephew, who lets out a whimper in response. He's trying so hard to be brave, Erwin realizes.

He carefully slides one finger into Armin, disgusted by himself as he does it. Armin whines. The realization of how tight and dry he is sends waves of panic through Erwin. There's no way, _no_ _way_ , he isn't going to fit and if he does then it will _hurt_.

He briefly wonders how anyone could possibly hurt a child in this way, before realizing he is doing the exact same thing right now. Against his will, but he's still doing it.

The second finger is harder. Armin clings onto the bedsheets, writhing as he makes pained noises.

Another camera click, and as the flash goes off Kenny says, “He's enjoying it.”

Erwin can't tell if he said that to torment him or if this sick, horrible man actually somehow believes Armin is enjoying himself right now.

“No he's not,” Erwin says firmly, then he strokes his nephew's arm reassuringly, “You're doing good, Armin.”

“I've had enough of foreplay,” Kenny remarks, and Erwin winces, “This is my last warning. Get on with it.”

Erwin realizes his cock is completely stiff. He tells himself it's his body reacting to the situation, he isn't aroused by this. But he still feels repulsed by himself. He _knows_ he has no desire for this whatsoever but it doesn't do anything to lessen the guilt he feels.

“Armin, I'm sorry,” he's lost count of how many times he's said it, “This is going to hurt. It will probably hurt a lot.”

Being honest is the best way forward.

“I want you to close your eyes for me and imagine you're some place nice,” he instructs, “Somewhere you feel safe. Can you do that for me, Armin?”

The boy nods, eyes still closed. “Yes,” he said, trusting. Trust isn't something Erwin deserves from him right now, or ever again.

He should have found a way out of this. He's a lawyer. There must have been _something_ he could have done. But he can't dwell on that now, not when he's already violated Armin so much. There's no way to change what has happened.

Erwin is as careful as he possibly can be when he inserts his cock, but Armin still screams. The noise breaks his heart. He takes slow, gentle thrusts, trying not to put Armin in more pain than he is already in. The camera flashes several times. He doesn't hear the clicks over Armin's cries. Erwin can't deal with listening to his nephew beg _please stop_ and _it hurts_ so he tunes it out, closes his eyes, tries to focus on moving.

Kenny isn't a patient man. Erwin knows he'll be expecting him to come, so he will have to force himself to. He imagines it's Levi. He imagines Levi sucking his cock, or fucking him on their bed, _anything_ that will make this end quicker. When Armin yelps he realizes he'd been getting carried away and slows down again, feeling bad for hurting him.

Erwin pants as he leans over him, opening his eyes again. He can't keep them open for long. The sight of Armin laying there naked, face contorted in pain as Erwin rapes him, is too much to bear. When he closes his eyes again he goes back to imagining Levi, and when Armin cries out his name he pretends that's Levi too.

It feels like hours. In reality it's only minutes. Erwin tries to concentrate on the feeling of his cock and nothing else. It's his brain that's making this so hard, all the disgust and guilt and hatred he feels making it difficult to progress. So he focuses on his cock. His body is meant for this, it's supposed to react to pleasure and whilst mentally this is far from pleasurable if Erwin ignores his feelings it almost, _almost_ feels good.

That's how he gets through it, focusing on the primal aspects of the situation. When he climaxes, he comes back to his senses and everything comes flooding back. Armin's sobbing beneath him, the camera flashes behind him.

He pulls out gently, _so_ gently, not wanting to hurt the child anymore. The sight of his own cum dripping between Armin's thighs repulses him, makes him so fucking angry at himself and Kenny and the whole world. He looks away quickly and reaches for a blanket that's folded at the end of the bed, draping it over Armin's small, shaking body.

He stands up and looks at Kenny then, eyes burning with rage. “I'll kill you.”

Kenny smiles, holding up the detonator. “You should have more respect, considering my little present for you today,” he says, then he presses the button and walks out of the room, like nothing happened.

Erwin's hands are clenched into fists, he wants to punch the wall and scream his fucking head off but that won't help Armin, so he doesn't. He considers calling the police, but this situation is compromising. His first priority is Armin, making sure he's alright, keeping him safe. He's probably traumatized by all this. Erwin thinks he might be too.

As he climbs back onto the bed, he strokes Armin's hair and holds him in his arms, comforting as best he can.

“It's okay, Armin. It's okay. He's gone now. He can't hurt you.”

But Erwin was the one who did this.

“I was so scared,” Armin sobs into Erwin's shoulder, and from the way he curls up close to him Erwin is glad at least that he isn't scared of his touch, “It hurt so much, s-so much.”

“I know, love. I know.”

He consoles Armin for a while, then goes to get changed. When he returns he looks at Armin sadly.

“I need to get you clean,” he says, “Is that okay?”

Armin lays still for a second then, hesitantly, nods.

“I'll be gentle,” Erwin assures him. He picks Armin up carefully, carrying him to the bathroom. Thankfully there's a bathtub. He runs the water at a suitable temperature, warm but not to hot, and when it's deep enough he lowers Armin into it. He uses bath foam, anything to give Armin some sort of privacy. The bubbles cover most of Armin's body, which he has curled up as tightly as possible, clutching his knees.

Erwin feels disgusting. But Armin must feel unimaginably more so.

He helps wash the boy off, touching his body as little as possible. It hurts to see him like this. He's just a child. A child who Erwin has violated and corrupted, a child who will probably never be the same again.

“This is my fault,” Armin says weakly, which takes Erwin off guard.

“No,” he replies, firmly, “It's mine.”

Armin sniffs, and starts to cry again. “I-I should have known better. That man... He told me to come with him, I... I should have screamed or ran away but I just did what he said.”

“Don't blame yourself for this, Armin,” Erwin takes his nephew's face in his hands, making eye contact, “It's on me. Kenny did this because of me, to get revenge on _me_.”

“Why?” Armin asks. Even now, the boy can't help asking questions.

Erwin sighs. “I don't know. But this is my fault. Blame me, not yourself.”

Armin scrunches up his eyes, takes a deep breath through his mouth. “But it wasn't your fault either.”

“Then blame Kenny,” Erwin tells him, “You have done nothing wrong.”

After helping Armin out of the bathtub, Erwin lets him get dressed by himself as he stares out of the window, trying to figure out what to do next. He decides on taking Armin back to his apartment, for now. The boy doesn't object. Erwin's grateful that Levi is nowhere to be seen, though the man's presence would usually be comforting in times of stress.

“People are probably worried about you by now,” Erwin tells Armin, who has curled himself up on the large couch.

Armin sniffles. “Grandpa is out with a friend. I was home alone.”

“Alright. That gives us more time to figure this out.”

Or rather, for Erwin to figure it out. None of this is Armin's responsibility to bear. But Erwin will do everything in his power to protect him from now on, to make sure he feels safe.

“Are you alright?” he asks Armin, already knowing the answer.

Armin doesn't reply to him. He lays there, still and silent. There's a distant look in his eye. It's almost worse than the screaming, because Erwin has no idea what's going on in his mind right now, what he's thinking about.

Erwin decides it's best to give him some space. He doesn't dare turn on the TV but he checks the news on his phone, frowning at what he reads.

_Explosion in local shopping center_.

Kenny did plant a bomb. Erwin had been mulling over whether it had been an empty threat the whole time since watching Kenny press the button on the detonator, but apparently not. So much for being a man of his word.

He reads carefully, feeling relieved when he sees that nobody is dead, though there have been a few casualties. A few minor injuries, and building damage. That's all. He put Armin through hell for that. He knows now that this was part of Kenny's plan all along, that he always intended to set off the bomb.

It's going to drive him crazy, he thinks, as he pours himself a glass of whiskey.

That's when the door bursts open and before Erwin has a chance to look up, Levi is pinning him against the wall, hands around his throat, with a look of hatred and betrayal and anger in his eyes.

In the corner of Erwin's eye he sees Armin run out of the room to hide in one of the bedrooms. He's thankful Levi hasn't noticed him there, thinking that would probably make this situation worse. He braces himself.

Levi glares up at him for a while, then slaps him hard across the face. Hard enough that Erwin loses his footing, stumbling against the wall.

“You're a sick fuck,” Levi spits at him. There's so much fury in his voice, so much hurt. “You're fucking _sick_ and to think I trusted you, Erwin! I hate you, I fucking despise you!”

It stings. But it's nothing Erwin doesn't deserve.

“You have ten seconds before I fucking call the police,” Levi snaps.

Erwin looks up at him, trying to stay calm, hoping Levi will see the guilt in his eyes and realize this isn't what it seems. “Let me explain.”

“What is there to fucking explain? Someone sent me pictures of you raping a _child_ , Erwin. That's not something you can just _explain_.”

The thought of Levi seeing those pictures makes him feel sick, for Armin's sake more than his own. And he realizes Kenny owns those pictures, he can do whatever he wants with them. He might have taken them for his twisted game with Erwin but there's nothing stopping him spreading them elsewhere.

“I was forced,” he says, getting straight to the point.

Levi laughs, full of venom. “You were forced to be a fucking pedophile? Yeah, good one Erwin. I'm going to fucking kill you, I swear to-”

Before Levi can lunge at him, Erwin grabs hold of the man's shoulders, holding him in place.

“It's true. Have you seen what happened at the mall?”

Levi blinks at him a few times. “Stop trying to cover your tracks with other shit,” he says, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Knowing he can't do anything else, Erwin explains. He tells Levi about Kenny, about waking up in a motel room, about the bomb. He tells him, with tears in his eyes, how Kenny made him do those things to Armin. He watches how the anger gradually fades from Levi's features, replaced with an expression of horror as the reality dawns on him.

“Do you see now?” Erwin asks, desperate, “It wasn't my fault.”

Levi takes a few step back, shaking his head. “No,” he says, “It was your fault.”

Erwin tenses.

“You still did it.”

He knows Levi's right. He's been thinking that all along.

“Why didn't you call for help?” Levi yells at him now, loud enough the neighbors can definitely hear. There are tears streaming down his cheeks. “Why didn't you call the fucking cops, or... Or I dunno, try to run, or fight Kenny, or _something_?”

Erwin hangs his head. “I'm sorry,” he says remorsefully.

Levi all but screams. He's hysterical. He starts pulling his hair and pacing around the apartment, then returns to Erwin and is about to jump on him. That's when Armin runs in, standing between them, staring at Levi with tears in his eyes.

“D... Don't,” he pleads, and Erwin feels speechless, “Don't hurt him.”

The expression on Levi's face as he looks at Armin is so different to the one he had given Erwin. Full of tenderness, like all Levi wants is to protect this child from harm. Erwin had thought he wanted the same thing. After today, he's not sure if he's allowed to think that anymore. But Armin clearly doesn't hold him responsible, still trusts him in some way, and that _hurts_ , hurts more than if he hated him.

“Okay,” Levi says, softer now, “I won't. But I'm calling the police, and you,” he looks pointedly at Erwin, “Are going to tell them everything you told me.”

There's such sadness in his eyes. Erwin feels so guilty, so awful. For both of them. Two of the people he loves the most and he's hurt them both in such a terrible way.

“Call an ambulance,” Levi orders Erwin, “Text his parents, or whoever he lives with. Tell them to go to the hospital.”

Erwin does as he's told. Armin clings onto him as he makes the phone call, clearly distressed judging by the way he cries. He's scared, confused, hurting. It must be a nightmare for him.

As Levi is on the phone to the police, he keeps shooting glances over at them, glaring at Erwin for letting Armin get so close. Erwin tries to pull away, but Armin doesn't let go. He feels awful then, knowing Armin is coming to him for comfort and he can't give it to him. He'll probably be escorted off to the police station and never see the boy again.

This is not about the law. This is not about crime and punishment. Erwin has committed a sin, and for that he has no doubt he will burn in hell.

 

 


End file.
